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Biblical Christians, however, are called to think differently.We are to use Scripture as the measure of our desires.Candice wrote a reply that encapsulates the aspects the I find most infuriating about Christian dating advice: namely, that physical attraction is this sort of either/or thing that you can only count on for a couple of years, and then you plummet directly into companionate love for the rest of your life, never to feel any heat again, but that’s okay because your companionate love is so rich and deep that you’ll never miss being hot for each other except those six times you have sex per year.Okay, that’s my paraphrase, but what other conclusion can one draw from a reply that begins thusly: If only it were that simple! Every marriage moves beyond the new-love, high-octane phase eventually, according to Psychologist Dorothy Tennov."Single Christian male (SCM) seeks single Christian female (SCF) to love as Christ loved the church, to give himself up for her to make her holy, to love as he loves himself (Eph. SCF must be absolute physical knockout (no one scoring below 9.0, please), must love to talk politics and sports, and must possess a laundry list of pre-decided personal characteristics so completely that SCM is convinced no better option could possibly be available within the next decade." "SCF seeks SCM to submit to in everything as to the Lord, to respect, to serve, to follow and to be led by in discipleship and ministry, to trust as spiritual leader of the home, and to serve Christ with for the next several decades or until Jesus comes back.SCM must possess total confidence (but can't be cocky and must trust SCF's opinion in all things); must be devastatingly handsome but have no idea that he is; must be exquisite interpersonal communicator who enjoys nothing more than long, conversations about the relationship; must understand SCF completely; and must otherwise fit description of how SCF thought 'The One' would be since SCF started thinking about it at age 11." Too harsh? Surveys inquiring about what singles — even professing Christian singles — look for in someone to date or marry, often receive "physically attractive," "sense of humor," "fun-loving personality," even "wealth" as the top answers.These are all preferences that are taken into consideration (by both sexes) when choosing a spouse. Every marriage moves beyond the new-love, high-octane phase eventually, according to Psychologist Dorothy Tennov.Likewise—I understand I didn’t just step out of a GQ magazine, so I’ve got my limitations and an uphill battle as to attracting a girl with the utmost “zing-pow” effect. What if all of those godly traits are there, but nothing “jumps”? There has got to be chemistry and a mutual, eros love of sexual attraction (which is much more than just physical attraction) that will keep that intimate part of a marriage thriving and healthy for many, many, many years. Find a gorgeous woman (or man), marry her (or him), and live happily ever after. But movies always end before the fireworks (what your friend calls “zing-pop”) die down. The longest it can last is three years, and often it’s less.
” Q&A, wherein a thirtysomething single female Marry Well-er gets an answer from Candice Watters.
(Longtime readers of my blog can probably tell you Candice Watters’ opinion on the topic, and my opinion of Candice Watters’ opinion on the topic.) Basically, the reader says she forwarded the infamous “Brother, You’re Like a Six” Boundless article to a single male friend whom she felt needed the ~advice, and he wrote her back a lengthy reply that basically reads like typical manospherian reasoning on the subjects of looks, chemistry, and attraction.